Ask an Agent - with Gemma Cooper and Molly Ker Hawn, from the Bent Agency

 

Are you looking for a query critique from those in the know? Or do you have a question you've always wanted to ask an agent? This month, agents Gemma Cooper and Molly Ker Hawn from The Bent Agency are offering just that.

Gemma has tackled the queries this month: 

Query One 

Dear Molly and Gemma,  

I am seeking representation for my YA science fiction manuscript, Shift, complete at 86,000 words.  

What would the future look like if biotechnology took astronomical leaps forward? [It’s best not to start your query off with a question. It distracts us and leaves us thinking about the question, while also trying to read on. Just open with the pitch.]

It's the year 4017 and the human race has a new skill set - Shift. [We don’t know what ‘Shift’ is, so this sentence is confusing without an explanation.] From soaring with the eagles to swimming with the sharks, animal mind control has become second nature. [So ‘Shift’ is animal control? Connecting these two previous sentences better would help here.]

But it's not all fun and games - with control comes manipulation. It's amazing what damage an elephant can do in a war zone, or what an excellent troupe of line dancers you can make from fifty cats. Is it ethical? No one seems to know and no one's asking the question. [This is all back story and setting up your world, but not telling us about your plot. Try to condense into two more punchy lines.]

But for 19-year-old Anna, life isn't about any of that. She's stuck in a tiny Northern village with a sister who outshines her at every turn, a brother who's drifting further away the more he grows, and a boyfriend she's never quite sure wants to be there. [Do we need to know all about these characters in the pitch?]

But that's okay. What isn't okay, is Shift. Anna can't. [Finally, we are getting to the meat of the story and how your world impacts your main character.] Dubbed as 'mind-deaf' and stagnating in society's pity [It took a few reads for this to make sense, don’t overcrowd your query with lines like this.], she meets Grigg - tall, dark and nondescript [Does it matter what he looks like?] - and fascinated by Anna's flaw. 

Over the course of a winter the two strike up a friendship and with Grigg's help, Anna starts to push the boundaries of society (whoever heard of a human learning to swim?) [Because we don’t know everything about your world, this doesn’t seem weird. Is it needed here?] and find her own worth. 

It's all going fine until Grigg drops a bombshell. The ethics of Shifting into animal minds may be blurry, but human minds? Now, that's an entirely different matter. [You can hint at a bombshell, but here you have half explained it, but just left us more confused.] And as Grigg's brother Ebbe comes of age and manifests his Shift talent, Anna begins to realise that being stuck inside your own head is not necessarily the worst thing in the world. [Adding another character so late in the query is confusing, and this doesn’t really tie into the last line.] 

Gemma says: Okay, so at the heart of this, you have an interesting story. Humans controlling animals and a girl who can’t. But you are not telling us the stakes for Anna. Why does it matter that she can’t Shift? You have introduced your concept, but not really what impact it has on your main character’s life. 

To simplify this try to write one or two lines on the following: 

Introduce your main character – here you could also pitch the concept of the world. For example, ‘In a world where human beings have learned to manipulate animals through mind control, 19 year old Anna....etc. 

What does she want? What is the goal that is driving her throughout the book? Does she want to learn to Shift or to stop it happening in the world because of ethical reasons? Does she want to fit in with her family? It’s not clear at the moment. 

What is preventing her from achieving these goals? Once you are clear on the goals, you can explain the roadblocks. 

What are the stakes if she doesn’t achieve them? Every plot needs stakes – a reason for the reader to turn the page. 

Query Two 

Dear Gemma and Molly, 

Niri used to be a good girl, only occasionally told off for drawing spaceships on her maths homework. [While this first line does work, it could be a little more exciting and perhaps tell us a bit more about the main character in a voice driven funny way. Drawing on homework is just a bit flat. For example, ‘Niri used to be a good girl, well apart from that one time she dyed her brother bright pink, but that was an accident.’] Then a pirate attack separated her from her family and she ended up alone and stranded on a space station.  There, totally by accident, Niri breaks one of the most important laws in the galaxy. All she does is make friends with a small alien. Unfortunately, he turns out to be a member of an undiscovered species – even talking to him is against the law.   

Niri’s best hope is to make sure that the Guardians – self-appointed parents of the galaxy – never find out what she has done. But a mysterious businessman has been watching her, and he won’t keep her secret for free. His price: Niri must become one of his minions.  If she wants to stay out of prison and have a chance at finding her family, she will have to commit a lot more crimes. [Again, this is a good enough paragraph, telling us the plot and the stakes. But I can’t help but worry if it’s missing a bit of voice and spunk. It’s just a bit flat and with a title like MINIONS, I’m assuming this story is a little bit fun?]             

MINIONS is a middle grade science fiction story, and is complete at 57,000 words. It might be described as STAR TREK meets THE GODFATHER for kids, and I think it will appeal to fans of Dan Krokos’s THE PLANET THEIVES and Frank Cottrell Boyce’s COSMIC.   

I have been a science fiction fan since the age of 7, when I first read A WRINKLE IN TIME, and I even managed to sneak aliens into my philosophy PhD thesis. I’m now working as a project editor at (company name redacted) This is my first novel. 

Thank you for your consideration.   

Best wishes, 

P.S. Thanks so much for offering feedback on query letters here!

Gemma says: As a query, this isn’t bad at all, and would certainly make me read the sample pages with interest. However, if you can just insert some of Niri’s voice and up the excitement, then you will have a more enticing letter.   

Molly has answered the questions this month:

Question One
 

Dear agents 

My query might seem a little silly and naive but I have had three rejections so far. Each time I examine the rejection email in detail searching for clues. They were very different with some more encouraging than others. I just wondered if they are likely to be standard. For example would an agent say 'strongly encourage you to contact as many other agencies as possible' and 'we have read (your submission) with great interest' if they thought the book was rubbish and did not have a chance of being published. 

I would love to offer my query letter for critique but haven't quite got the nerve. 

When an agent declines a submission, it’s usually with a form letter. Some agents are gentler than others, and most at least try to be polite. My guess is that the lines you’ve mentioned are from the agents’ form letters. If the agent had comments specific to your manuscript that she wanted to pass on to you, she would have referred to your book, or at least an aspect of it, directly. 

But I think you’re making assumptions about why your book was declined. Just because the agent isn’t interested in it, that doesn’t mean it’s rubbish or impossible to publish. You can’t know what the agent is thinking – she could be already representing a project that sounds just enough like yours that they might compete with each other; or she might not even represent projects for the age group you’re targeting. (A shocking number of aspiring authors don’t fully research the agents they approach.) 

Most importantly, taste is entirely personal. You may have a premise that appeals to an agent, but she might not ‘connect’ with your voice. I mean, A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction and has sold a bazillion copies since it was published in 1980. It’s considered a significant modern classic, and everyone I know loves it, but I’m sorry, I can’t stand that book. I suppose that’s not fair; I’ve never been able to finish it. And Lord knows I’ve tried.  But I simply can’t connect with either the characters or the author’s voice. It’s not for me. 

I can’t represent something unless it inspires a spark of connection, an emotional response of some kind that makes me want to make other people read it. Most agents feel the same way, I think. I’ve turned down projects that have gone on to find agents and sell to publishers. And I’ve taken on clients who’d been turned down by other agents and I’ve found just the right editors for their projects. This is such a subjective business. ‘No’ means ‘this isn’t right for me.’  

Take heart -- your journey to finding an agent has barely begun!

Next month, agent Sallyanne Sweeney from Mulcahy Associates will be here for another Agent Confidential and will also be answering your questions. If you have a question for Sallyanne, either post them in the comments, or send them in to writers@britishscbwi.org 

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@gemma_cooper 

@mollykh.

Gemma Cooper and Molly Ker Hawn represent authors of books for children and young adults. For more information about Gemma and Molly see The Bent Agency website and blog. 


Team Cooper's Agent Retreat - Part One

by Gemma Cooper from the Bent Agency and Team Cooper

The night the retreat idea was born

I have SCBWI totally to blame for my client retreat! Discussions started after the mass book launch party at last November’s annual conference. I was surrounded by my clients all drinking late into the night, and someone (I have no idea who) said, ‘Wouldn’t it be fun if we could all get together for a whole weekend?’ ‘What, like a retreat?’ said someone else (rumoured to be me). And this started the wheels in motion...


Fast-forward to January, and I had looked at publishing dates, literary festivals, school holidays and emailed everyone a suggested weekend. I didn’t really have a schedule in mind at this point, having never been to a writing retreat myself, but I threw myself into planning. I sweet-talked one of my favourite editors into coming, asked members of the group to share knowledge, badgered another awesome editor for literary questions for the quiz and thought about what workshops I could run. In the space of a few weeks, I had a schedule!

Saturday

10am – Workshop – Gemma – Engaging writing, self-editing and high-concept ideas
12pm – Lunch
1pm – Annalie Grainger (Fiction Editor/Walker Books) – Demystifying the publishing process and a Q+A
3pm – Yoga/stress meditation class – Caroline Glason
4.30pm – Tea and cakes
5pm – 7.30pm – Free writing time or 1-2-1s with Gemma (half-hour slots to be allocated to those who want them)
7.30pm – Pizza, chips and dips and literary-themed quiz

Sunday

10am – Workshop – Gemma – Picture books and non-fiction
12pm – Lunch – BBQ
1pm – Workshop – Mo O’Hara – Making the jump from writer to performer (tips for school visits)   
3pm - Free writing time (or 1-2-1s with Gemma)
5pm – HOME TIME

(Schedule does not accurately show just how much cake was eaten or tea and wine was drunk.)

Team Cooper and Friends

Luckily, I have the best of all best friends, Emma, who agreed to come and cook and basically look after us all for the whole weekend so I could focus my energies on my clients. Asking her this favour was the best decision I ever made! Sadly, we could only have my UK clients attend, but the lovely Benjamin Scott (friend and honorary member of Team Cooper) videoed some of the workshops and we are sharing them with my US clients and some whom I’ve signed since the retreat.

I have asked the SCBWI members of Team Cooper to talk about what they took from the retreat. Some of them joined SCBWI after chatting to the more well-known members at the retreat, so they may be new names to you seasoned members. Look out for them at events and to say hi. I’ll start by handing you over to the oldies!

@Mo_OHara

Mo O’Hara 

People go on Writer’s Retreats for lots of reasons. I go to get away and immerse myself in my writing, to meet and hang out with other writers and to learn something new. I’ve attended the SCBWI Writer’s Retreat many times (4 years I think) and have always had a really great experience. So as an avid ‘Retreater’ I was very excited when Gemma hatched her plans to have an Agent Writer’s Retreat this year.

The Team Cooper Retreat did not disappoint.  We had a great weekend of writing, hanging out and learning (with lots of laughs and cake thrown in too.) I suppose the most useful way to look at the experience is to compare it to the SCBWI retreats that  I’ve been on before.  Because although they were the same in name they were both very different, yet both really positive experiences. 

1. Immersion in my Writing:

If I’m honest this is the one aspect of the weekend that I would have liked more of. One of the reasons I go on retreats is that my own life has lots of things competing for my writing time and the retreat is one way of carving out that time just for my writing. On the SCBWI retreat, I definitely got more writing done, but in the Team Cooper retreat I discussed my writing much more. This happened both in the one-on-one sessions with Gemma and in small group impromptu discussions with the other writers. I had so many ideas sparked off during those discussions but I could have done with a few extra hours in the day to get them down on paper. It was so good to be on the retreat though with my agent right there. Gemma and I could bounce around ideas freely and everyone’s imput was so valuable. Maybe I just needed to pry myself away from the cake table (and oh yes, there was one) to run away and write in my room

2. Hanging out and talking with other writers:

This is one aspect of the SCBWI retreats that I always look forward to. They are like writers reunions almost. Time to reconnect with people you only see once or twice a year sometimes. The Team Cooper retreat was the source of so many fantastic conversations and so many new friendships. It was ‘Team Building’ in a good way. Not in a corporate ‘let’s all do a pointless exercise and pretend to build a bridge’ kind of way, but in a ‘let’s discover and get to know an amazing group of people who’ve all been snatched up by the same agent because they are all amazing’ kind of way! I really felt privileged to be part of this team.  Everyone had such different experiences and styles but we all had such a great time. The atmosphere was relaxed and the quiz on the Saturday night was the ultimate ice breaker.

Quiz time!

  
3. Learning new things:

Again, in the SCBWI retreat I tend to come away inspired by the  couple of really good workshops over the few days we were there and eager to put what I’ve learned into practice.  On this retreat, we had so many really incredible sessions.  My favourite were probably the session on Picture Books and Non- Fiction Writing that Gemma did and the session with Annalie from Walker Books. Both really filled me with a push to get on with writing some picture books and sparked some great ideas too. And as terrified as I was to lead a session on school visits it was really good for me to do. It was a supportive atmosphere and a relaxed way to share experiences with the other writers. I even learned lots in the session that I was leading, and I know that might sound strange, but that’s a really good thing. 

I want to say thanks to Gemma  for hosting us all and programming and leading such an amazing retreat and to her friend Emma who made us such lovely food. As we all know writers run on their stomachs so it was very much appreciated (as was the aforementioned cake, cookies, pies, flapjacks etc. that individuals baked). Roll on Team Cooper Retreat 2014!!!

Mo is the author of the My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish series. For more info on her books click here

@JulienneD

Julienne Durber 

I’ve always favoured the SCBWI Conference in November rather that its Summer retreat, so this was my first time retreating and I found it fabulous and so different from the ‘schoolroom’ feel of the Conference. This was much more like a secret camp - our own little world of writers sharing experiences. Sympathy for shared defeats and heartfelt congratulations for successes. It really did allow me to ‘retreat’.

On the practical side, Gemma’s talk about picture books and especially non-fiction titles showed a whole new area that I hadn’t thought about exploring. And Annalie’s willingness to answer all of our questions about the mysteries of the ‘behind closed doors’ side of the publishing industry was really interesting. Even Mo’s school presentation talk, which I’d seen before, took on a more intimate feel - friends sharing advice. But I have to say that the revelation of the weekend was the mid afternoon yoga session. A great way to de-stress and clear the mind before more story swapping (and a challenge not to giggle at inappropriate moments.)  I don’t think a mass Tai Chi session in the Stripe car park at the November Conference would work, but the thought made me smile. (Gemma – I think the conference organisers should get on this. Jo, are you listening? I’d pay to watch!)

And out of all of the positives, the most valuable thing was to spend time with like-minded people all on various stages of their careers, and know that we’re all in it together.

Julienne blogs here 

@KatyJoCannon

Katy Cannon 

The Team Cooper Retreat was my first time at a writing retreat, so I don’t know if they always involve quite so much cake, but I can certainly recommend that they should.

Getting to hang out with the rest of the team – with other writers, who are willing to have bizarre and detailed discussions about imaginary things – was a great experience. And the opportunity to learn from them, as well as the visiting speakers and Gemma, was incredibly valuable.

For me, the most useful session was Mo O’Hara’s workshop on arranging, planning and giving school, bookshop and library visits. This is something I’ve never done before but, with the publication of Pooch Palace, my series for 6-8 year olds, next year, I suspect I’ll soon be thrown in the deep end! Listening to Mo and learning from her has given me a lot confidence in my ability to put together a decent show.

I also got an awful lot out of the sessions on picture books and non-fiction for kids. So much, in fact, that I picked up an extra project to work on with my husband… watch this space! I do want to say an enormous thank you to Gemma, and her friend Emma, for organizing such a fantastic weekend. It was incredibly useful – and so much fun!

 

Katy is the author of the Pooch Palace series, the first two books be published by Stripes in March 2014. Go here for more info about her books

  

In the second part of Team Cooper's Agent Retreat, on Wednesday, 24th July, Mike Revell and Robin Stevens talk about their retreat experiences, as well as SCBWI BI's very own Benjamin Scott who also attended the retreat.

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@Gemma_Cooper

Gemma Cooper represents authors of books for children and young adults. For more information about Gemma, see The Bent Agency website and blog. 

Ask an Agent: How Not to Write a Query

In our Ask an Agent feature this month, agents Molly Ker Hawn and Gemma Cooper from the Bent Agency have written a post about what not to say in your query, and why.

No one has been quite brave enough to send in a query for critique — yet — so we thought we’d do a little post about what not to say in your query and why. These are just made-up queries, but we really do see things like these in our inboxes...

Dear Sirs,

I am writing to submit my manuscript for submission. It is a 250,542-word MG fantasy, the first in a proposed seven-book series. I have already finished book 4.

I know it says in your submission guidelines to paste the first ten pages, but the story doesn’t really get going until chapter 3, so I have attached the best chapters, which are 4, 7, and 11.

The book has been described by my children as a gripping work of genius. I would describe it as an epic journey, where Jake, the main character, learns all about the difference between good and evil, and who to trust. It really looks at the bonds of friendship. I hope kids will learn how important it is not to bully other people.

I know this book will grip you from start to finish, and I think it could be the one to really put your agency on the map. It would make a great movie and here is the link to the Pinterest board with the actors I want to play the main characters.

I am a member of Sewing Anonymous, a big group of people who sew in the church hall at weekends. I’m also a sign language teacher and fluent in Portuguese.

I will call you tomorrow to see what you think.

Best wishes

A

So, where did "A" go wrong?:

Dear Sirs, (Please direct your query to the person you’re sending it to).

I am writing to submit my manuscript for submission. It is a 250,342-word (first, this is far too long for a debut MG. Remember Jennifer Laughran’s word count post? Second, do us a favour and round up your word count to the nearest thousand) MG fantasy, the first in a proposed seven-book series. I have already finished book 4. (We’d advise you not to start writing book 2 of a series until you have sold book 1. It might be that your publisher wants to change something that could have massive ramifications throughout the series. As agents, it would make us worried that you’re so glued to your story, you might not take editorial advice).

I know it says in your submission guidelines to paste the first ten pages, but the story doesn’t really get going until chapter 3 (So what happens in the first three chapters? Your opening is important; it sets the scene, gives us the main character’s voice and hooks the reader. If it’s so boring you don’t think it will hook an agent, how will it hook a reader?), so I have attached the best chapters, which are 4, 7, and 11. (How can we judge your project until we know what’s going on in the story? Reading random sample chapters doesn’t tell us what we need to know).

The book has been described by my children as gripping, and a work of genius. (Your children love you. They’ll love anything you read to them! Their opinion doesn’t make a difference to an agent, so don’t mention it). I would describe it as an epic journey, where Jake, my main character, learns all about the different between good and evil, and who to trust. It really looks at the bonds of friendship. (But what is the story? What actually happens?) I hope kids will learn how important it is not to bully other people. (Kids don’t like being preached to, and although some terrific books have messages like this, they’re cleverly layered into the story. The fact you say you want to teach kids would worry us that the tone of your book is too didactic.)

I know this book will grip you from start to finish, and I think it could be the one to really put your agency on the map. (We’re very happy with our current clients and how great they are – don’t be disparaging about the agency) It would make a great movie and here is the link to the Pinterest board with the actors I want to play the main character. (Things like this are fun to do with your writing buddies and critique partners, but we’d worry you were running before you could walk in mentioning it here).

I am a member of Sewing Anonymous, a big group of people who sew in the church hall at weekends. I’m also a sign language teacher and fluent in Portuguese. (Are these relevant to your book? If you are member of a writing organisation, tell us. And if your story is set in France, and you lived there for three years, then great – but keep it relevant!)

I will call you tomorrow to see what you think. (Never call an agent to chase up on a query unless her submission guidelines specifically say you should.)

Best wishes

A

Here's another example of how not to write a query:

Hey,

I have written three chapters of my untitled novel, but I can quickly finish the rest if you want it soon. This book is going to be as big as Twilight and The Hunger Games.

I know from reading a blog interview that you don’t represent thrillers, but I thought my book would make you think differently about them. I couldn’t find the submission details on your website, so I’ve just attached what I’ve written so far. It’s a bit rough, but you’ll get the picture. I bet you probably won’t read it though. I’ve found the search for an agent to be fraught, and I’ve begun to think there aren’t any professional people in publishing left. I’ve had 50 rejections – none of them helpful. I mean how hard is it to just send me a nice email explaining what you didn’t like about my book and giving detailed editorial tips. Seriously! I do hope that I hear from you and you will be the one good person in this whole stupid industry.

Email me back at lovesgiantteddybears@cuddles.com.

Laters

B

So, what could "B" have done differently?:

Hey, (Because agents are all over Twitter talking about what we ate last night, it can be easy to be informal when emailing us. Remember: this is a business letter.)

I have written three chapters of my untitled novel, but I can quickly finish the rest if you want it soon. (NEVER query an unfinished book. It’s so frustrating for us to request a full manuscript and find out it’s not available. And usually our full request means the manuscript is finished quickly and rushed. Edit and polish your book before you query. We’ll be here – what’s your rush?)

This book is going to be as big as Twilight and The Hunger Games (Don’t compare your book to the big books. If you mention comparables, show us you’re well-read in the genre you’re querying. For example, for a voicey animal-protagonist MG, you might say ‘This book would appeal to fans of 'The One And Only Ivan.’)

I know from reading a blog interview that you don’t represent thrillers, but I thought my book would make you think differently about them. (If it says we don’t represent a certain genre, then don’t think that you have written the one book that will change our mind. We will have good reason that we don’t rep that genre. You need an agent who is passionate about the genre you write in and who has the right editorial contacts.)

I couldn’t find the submission details on your website, so I’ve just attached what I’ve written so far. It’s a bit rough, but you’ll get the picture. (You only get one chance to make a first impression. Why send something unfinished and unedited? Also, if you’ve found our email address, you’re capable of finding our submission guidelines on our website.)

I bet you probably won’t read it though. I’ve found the search for an agent to be fraught, and I’ve begun to think there aren’t any professional people in publishing left. (Don’t bad-mouth other industry professionals to us – we’re a tight group and we have a lot of respect for each other).

I’ve had 50 rejections – none of them helpful. I mean how hard is it to just send me a nice email explaining what you didn’t like about my book and giving detailed editorial tips. Seriously! I do hope that I hear from you and you will be the one good person in this whole stupid industry. (It’s hard for us to be enthusiastic about working with someone with both an unrealistic view of how the industry works and a bad attitude.)

Email me back at lovesgiantteddybears@cuddles.com. (Use a professional business email address, ideally yourname@ )

Laters (Would you really sign a business letter this way?)

B

Okay, so that was a fun look at some common mistakes that crop up in our submissions. So what makes a good query letter? Our advice: don’t overthink it, keep it simple, and make us want to read your book.

Dear [Agent’s Name],

I am seeking representation for my [age - MG/YA etc.] [genre] manuscript [title] complete at [word count rounded to nearest 1000 words].

[Insert Pitch - 1 or 2 paragraphs explaining your plot. Introduce your main character. What does she want? What’s preventing her from achieving those goals? And what are the stakes if she doesn’t achieve them?]

According to your submission guidelines I have [consult the specific guidelines for the agency, posted on its website. For the Bent Agency, you’d say, ‘pasted the first ten pages of the manuscript below.’]

I am a member of [any writing organisations] and have won [any relevant writing prizes]. [Then add anything relevant to your role as the best person to write this book.] Thank you for your time.

All best,

[your name]

Simple, right?

If you are ready to start submitting to agents, but would like some feedback on your query from Gemma and Molly, then email your query to writers@britishscbwi.org. Submissions will be posted anonymously. Alternatively, if you have a question you would like to put to our agents, email us at the above address, or post them in the comments below.

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@gemma_cooper 

@mollykh.

Gemma Cooper and  Molly Ker Hawn represent authors of books for children and young adults. For more information about Gemma and Molly see The Bent Agency website and blog. 



Ask an Agent - with Gemma Cooper and Molly Ker Hawn, from the Bent Agency

Are you looking for a query critique from those in the know? Or do you have a question you've always wanted to ask an agent? Each month, agents Gemma Cooper and Molly Ker Hawn from The Bent Agency will be offering just that.

This month they answer some more questions sent to us by our readers.

Would you take on a book that has already been published as an ebook?

Yes, I’m happy to look at self-published projects, but I’d want to know why the author chose to self-publish. Sometimes I see authors self-pubbing out of impatience with the traditional publishing process, and I’m wary of working with someone who expects instant results. On another note, I think it’s worth pointing out that publishers don’t consider a self-published e-book to be a huge success unless its sales are really, really strong.

I would consider something if I could see that a traditional publisher would be interested and the book would benefit. So I would look at it pretty much like any other query – unless the sales were incredibly high, and then I would take more notice. If you’re going to submit self-published work to agents, it’s best to have sales figures in the query letter so we can see how well the book is doing. Like Molly, I’d like to know your reasons for self-publishing the book in the first instance.

What would you say is the approximate maximum word count for middle grade humour now? Obviously it depends on the book, but at what length would you start to feel uncomfortable?

I hate to say it, but it really does depend on the book! If I had to put a figure on, I suppose I would start to get uncomfortable over 65,000 words for humour, but if it had a fantasy element or sci-fi alongside the humour then there is room for a higher word count. Also, if the writing is amazing and the book has fantastic pace, then I might not even look at the word count while reading.

I don’t worry too much about this – a book should be as long as it needs to be, and no longer. I think the idea that “children’s books are getting shorter” is a real generalisation. There’s definitely a vogue for Wimpy Kid-style illustrated humour, but there are plenty of longer funny MG books out there as well. Whenever the subject of word count comes up, I direct people to agent Jennifer Laughran’s excellent blog post on the subject. It’s the most comprehensive look at word counts that I’ve seen.

 

I heard something recently about someone's MS being criticised because their chapters were all of different lengths. This surprised me as I thought varying chapter length was sometimes really effective for mixing up the pace. Is what I heard bunkum, or should I be aiming for even chapters?

This is a good question. I find for younger illustrated fiction (7+/chapter books) it usually works well to have chapters that are of similar lengths, ending on a cliffhanger or a note of uncertainty. I am biased, but my client Mo O’Hara, author of My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish, is really good at this, and that means her books have great pace. However, this isn’t a ‘rule’ and length can often depend on the voice and any stylistic elements of the book. For example, if it’s a third-person POV book that hops between the protagonist and the villain, it may be that the villain has shorter, choppier chapters because that’s how his voice works best. Like all parts of a book, you can play with chapter titles, lengths and layout to fit the story. One of my favourite young fiction books as a kid and actually one that still holds up now is The Great Smile Robbery by Roger McGough. He uses varying chapter lengths to add another layer and extra humour to the book. For example, there is a chapter where the main character is arrested, and the title is ‘Alone’ and it has just one line and one illustration on the page. But the very next chapter has the villains plotting and is six pages long.

For older fiction, again, I think it depends on the book. I feel like this kind of discussion can distract from the important questions: is the pacing of this book compelling? Does the structure fit the voice? For nearly every so-called rule of writing children’s fiction, there are so many exceptions that it’s a bit disingenuous to call them exceptions.

I am preparing to complete my first children's picture book and would like to know whether my cover email to publishers should include any sample images or even a pdf of the 20 page book itself? Or should I introduce myself and ask if it's okay to send the book along for consideration separately?

Most publishers don’t accept unsolicited submissions, so I’m assuming that you’re only referring to publishers whose submission guidelines specifically say that they do. Right?

Usually publishers who accept unsolicited submissions have a separate section about how to submit picture books and images. Always send low-res images, as these are less likely to be caught in a spam folder. If it isn’t clear on the website whether they want to see sample images (and most are, so check carefully), then I would suggest you don’t and just let them know that images are available – perhaps putting a link to any websites with your illustrations on them.

Do you like to know if an author receives requests for full manuscripts from other agents or are you only interested in offers of representation?

It’s nice to know if another agent’s requested a full, but it’s not really my business. What’s important is being told when the author’s had an offer of representation.

Agreed. I don’t need to know if an author has had other full requests, but I definitely want to know when an author has been offered representation so I can have the chance to read the project and maybe offer myself.

It’s incredibly frustrating to have a manuscript withdrawn from consideration because the author’s accepted an offer elsewhere. That’s happened to me when I was just about to finish reading a project. If you’re not interested in receiving an offer of rep from a particular agent, then don’t submit your work to them! I don’t want to waste my time reading a project that isn’t actually available.

What would you want to discuss with a prospective client before taking them on? Any deal breakers?

I try to meet prospective clients (in person or Skype) before offering representation. To me, meeting face to face is important to establish a relationship as I want to like my authors on a personal level as well as loving their writing. Hopefully, we will be going on a very long and exciting journey and I’ll get to look after their careers for years to come – so we need to be able to relate.

Because I represent a lot of American authors, I don’t have the luxury of meeting them in person before I offer rep. That happens more in the UK, where half the country can get to London and back home in a day. Most American authors don’t get to meet agents in person before they accept an offer of rep, but we do speak by phone at length.

Some questions we ask are: Where would you like your career to be in five years? What do you do for work? How comfortable are you with social media (totally not a dealbreaker if the answer is ‘not at all’ – the agency has a very comprehensive social media handbook for our clients who aren’t experienced with social media, and we’re always happy to handhold through Twitter and Facebook tutorials.) How do you feel about any suggested editorial changes? What books do you like to read? When do you write and how quickly could you revise? What other books are you working on?

We also describe how we work with clients, how the agency operates, and the agency’s terms. Lots of authors are curious about how we handle foreign rights and subrights, especially film/TV. We both give prospective clients the opportunity to speak to current clients – having the point of view of another author can be very reassuring. There aren’t many dealbreakers, but if an author isn’t willing to revise her project at all – whether with me or with an editor – then I would certainly hesitate to offer rep.

Even if you don’t agree with our editorial suggestions, you have to be open to making some changes to your work, because an editor will be wanting that also. A dealbreaker for me is if someone is abrasive and I could see they would be hard to work with and hard work for an editor.

If you are ready to start submitting to agents, but would like some feedback on your query from Gemma and Molly, then email your query to writers@britishscbwi.org. Submissions will be posted anonymously. Alternatively, if you have a question you would like to put to our agents, email us at the above address, or post them in the comments below. Molly and Gemma will be returning next month with Query Do's and Don't's.

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@gemma_cooper 

@mollykh.

Gemma Cooper and  Molly Ker Hawn represent authors of books for children and young adults. For more information about Gemma and Molly see The Bent Agency website and blog. 



Writing Spaces - from clutter to creativity

An Interview with Julienne Durber
by Michelle Newell 

This week, we talk to Julienne Durber, an aspiring YA and MG writer based in Rugby. He is represented by Gemma Cooper at the Bent Agency and received an honorary mention in the 2012 SCBWI Undiscovered Voices anthology for his novel Vengeance (previously Springpunk). He also had an honorary mention in the 2010 UV for a murder mystery Wind-up World. He co-runs the dark, dystopian Demention blog and is one of the Network Coordinators for SCBWI BI Central West. You can find out more about Julienne at dementionblog.blogspot.co.uk

You describe yourself as having “an obsession with all things dark and demented, otherworldly and odd”, and I wondered if that was just in your stories and illustrations, or if that was reflected in your environment?

That was fairly heavily to do with all the Demention stuff, and I was into all the dystopia bits and pieces. There’s bit and pieces here and there that are reasonably dark I guess. 

I was expecting to see in the background some kind of steampunkish clock hanging on your wall, or a black feature wall! 

Bear with me. (Julienne leaves the Skype screen and returns holding up an intricate model ship). This is a chariot I made out of clock parts. It’s a life size model of some characters in a book that I did before the dystopian book. This is the room of creativity. I don’t always write in it but it has creativity oozing out of it. There is a jigsaw on the wall up there that I designed for someone. And there’s more of these little models hanging up and lying around, and old sketches on pinboards. 

You seem like quite a visual person, do your characters and stories come to you more visually in pictures, and then in the models and drawings that you make? 

I’d been a graphic designer for 10 years, and I went along to SCBWI wanting to be an illustrator. Everyone at the Birmingham SCBWI was much more into the writing so I had a go at the writing. And I find that I can write better pictures than I can draw, if that makes sense. I can draw stuff, and it’s a nice realisation, but it’s not quite what was in my head. I can write down exactly what is in my head and develop it a lot further. 

So you don’t write in this room with all your inspirational, creative stuff? 

Sometimes I write in this room. But recently I’ve found a hugely useful tool is my phone. I write on my phone on the train. I get maybe 25 minutes commuting time. And it’s not proper writing but it’s notes and it flows really well, and I can then Bluetooth it to myself and write it up in the evenings. If I can, I sneak in an hour at work – at lunch time, obviously, not when I’m working (laughs) – and I try to fit things in in the evening, and I do have a life doing other things as well. It’s just any spare snap of time. 

I got the impression that you were busy from your website with your drawings and stories, and your work for the Demention blog... 

It’s a bit mad. A couple of years ago Marcus Sedgwick was at one of the SCBWI things and he talked about going to bed worrying about a problem in his writing and waking up the next morning and it would be solved, and I try to use that sort of technique. If I know there’s a plot issue or something with my writing I’ll try to think about it before I get to work, and then let it churn away, or try and think about it before I go to sleep. 

It doesn’t keep you awake? 

No, no, I just think about it. I know it’s there, and hopefully it just sorts itself out in the morning.

Will is the main character in Vengeance, the book that got you long-listed for SCBWI’s Undiscovered Voices anthology. If Will had a desk to plot the downfall of his enemies, the people who killed his sister, what would his desk look like? 

His desk would be somewhere deep in a dank, slightly falling down concrete cellar in an area called Wasteland and it would be made up of two slightly rusty oil drums which haven’t been used for ages because of the lack of fossil fuels in Will’s world, with an old door across it. On top of it would be extremely battered but carefully folded and looked after schematics and maps of the areas of the Wasteland and the rich, nice area where all the bad people live, and in one of the oil drums would be a small alcove in which he had fitted a drawer, where he would be keeping all the ammunition for his clockwork gun, which is the one thing, apart from his sister, that he loves the most. 

If you had an ideal desk, what would it look like? 

I don’t have an ideal desk. I get very jumpy. Sometimes I’ll work on my big computer on its spindly metal desk that you’re sitting on (on his laptop on Skype) at the moment, and after a while I will then hop over to my drawing board. I will then go downstairs and sit on the sofa and write down there or sit cross-legged on the floor with my laptop on my lap, so I’m very non-desky. But of anything, I think my drawing board is my ideal desk, because it’s old, and it’s a little bit rusty, and it’s very sort of 50s styling, and it’s been sanded down, and varnished and it’s multi-use and it’s got a nice little foot rest. It’s normally completely covered in stuff so I can’t get to it. But absolutely the best thing about it is that because it was a drawing board it’s got at the top a winding handle connected to a cover that you’re supposed to put over your drawings when you’ve finished drawing for the day. 

Are you sure this desk didn’t inspire you to write dystopian steampunk? 

Well, no, but my predisposition towards winding things and mechanical bits and pieces I’m sure inspired me to buy this desk rather than a nice shiny brand new drawing board. 

Here are Julienne Durber's tips for increasing your creative flow...

• Clutter is your friend - surround yourself with things you love that don't necessarily relate to what you are working on, or even to writing at all. It will give your area a safe 'nesty' feel. 

• Mood boards - the idea of gathering images/textures/detritus that relates to the work you are doing - is a real ad agency cliche, but don't think neat, spray-mounted presentations, think postcards pinned to the wall, a slideshow of images as your screensaver set to come on after a minute of not typing, piles of autumn leaves or rusty metal on your desk (in between the regular nest-clutter).   

• Whenever I'm stuck on a plot point or key event, I do the washing up. The minute my hands are in the water and I'm unable to type, the solution will pop into my head. I'll then work it through while I finish the washing up and rattle off a few hundred words as the plates drip dry.

If you find inspiration for your work in an interesting, strange or unique place, we'd love to hear from you. Please email writers@britishscbwi.org

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@michelnewel

Michelle was born and raised in a country town in Australia. She taught History at an all-girls school before moving to England a decade ago to take up the thoroughly modern job of designing new schools. 
Michelle still loves anything old, and has compulsively collected ‘junk’, as her bemused family call it, since she was a girl. Her flat in London is crammed with fluffy 1950s ball gowns, daintily painted tea sets, and well-worn children’s toys. 
The stories she imagines behind each of her vintage treasures ultimately inspired her to fulfil a long-held ambition to write novels with an historic twist for young adults.
Michelle is currently working on her first novel and is represented by Jenny Savill at Andrew Nurnberg Associates.